the clog

...And the Crappiest Birthday Award goes to...

Oh. My. God. Today is, without a doubt, the crappiest birthday that I have ever experienced. It might actually rank among the top 100 crappiest birthdays worldwide (hey, my birthday today may have been bad, but some people actually got burned at the stake/died on their birthdays.... I can't really compete with that). I spent the whole day in bed racked with pain. And I couldn't open my eyes either. Or listen to anything louder than my own breathing. Remember when I wrote the last post (again, as usual, just scroll down and read it if you don't. It's not that hard)? I said that it was a pain just looking at this monitor? Well, the pains that I received after that made the previous pain seem like a fond memory. At least I didn't barf this time round.... Of course, there was nothing TO barf...I didn't eat the whole day. When I finally felt ok enough to get up, I noticed that the room was totally dark. Yes, it was 9pm when I finally woke up. The day had passed me by. To make matters worse, I have a math quiz tomorrow (I just found out just now). And the lecturer is quizzing us on the stuff that we learned today (you know, the stuff I DIDN'T LEARN because I was stuck in bed). I'm telling you, Life seems to experience a perverse sort of joy in screwing me over. I mean, you have to agree that this week has been a pretty crap week for me. And now, my little comment doohickey seems to be out of commission. Mebbe haloscan (the guys who operate the comment doohickey) have closed shop. Like I said: the world seems to be conspiring against me. That probably means that I have to go look for some other script to do the comment thingy. Ah, poop. And just when reading the comments was starting to become an obsession too. Well, I suppose if any of you really want to comment on anything that I write you'll have to use the comment board available in the polls (and howcum none of you do the polls anyway? Is it really that inane?).

Anyway, just to wrap things up I have compiled a short list of what people SHOULD get on their birthdays:

1. Get laid (hey, you had to have expected that one. Doesn't have to be a hooker either. Person offering the lay should not be related to you. No, really, take note of that last part. Would help if the person is of the same species as you (dophin sex is not encouraged)).
2. Money (which is also very good. You can't go wrong with this present)
3. All the good toys that you deserve (this means anything and everything: optical mice, video games, inflatable doll, the Death Star...you get the picture).
4. A just visiting card...(like the ones in Monopoly, only it works in real life. Can get away with any crime one time. And then pass go and collect $200).

Yeah, any of those would be good. What about love and care you ask? What are you, a pansy? We're in the Noughties, get your priorities right.

On the flip side, we have what I actually GOT for my birthday:

1. Migraine pains for the whole day
2. A missed birthday dinner
3. News that my life may be heading down the crapper (so what else is new?)
4. Nothing in the way of material benefits (ie. no presents)
5. A nagging headache that won't go away (Like those donation people. Not on migraine level, but it still sucks eggs. The headache that is).

Just peachy. So today's lesson is this: It's a cruel world we're living in, Charlie Brown.