the clog

Oh, the Humanity!

Gah...another migraine attack this morning. Don't feel so great. Eyeballs hurting just looking at this screen. Must...resist...urge to...vomit. Do you know what would have helped? A nurse. Yeah, a cute nurse administering to my needs would have been sweet. But I'm even deprived of that. You know why? Because it turns out that Lanata is NOT a nurse. Nooooooooooooooooooo. The horror....the...horror.

She's a data entry-er or something. I really don't want to know, really. My illusions have been smashed, shattered and damaged beyond repair. But it needed to be said. Teddy's giving me too much flak over the whole confused nomenclature thing. He's forever calling me an idiot...no sense in me proving that he's right. Hey, she works in a hospital...and she works by filling in data entry. And so (because I want to believe that the world is a beautiful place) I thought to myself: cool, a nurse who does data entry. Is it my fault that I'm a hopeless optimist about the wrong things? I blame society.

Speaking of which, nurses aren't always hot. It's a lie. Listen carefully to my tale of woe, people (you too, Teddy. If you're reading this anyway. Even if you already know the story. It'll be better the...what...4562nd time? Really). I mean, when I suffered through my appendicitis operation were there any cute nurses in the hospital I was in? No, there weren't. Which is why I left after 2 days (the doctor suggested that I stay for a week. Bugger that. The food was awful. Big mistake. I forgot at the time that the only other option was my sister's cooking. Ick). When I went for brain scans to see if I had a brain tumor, were there any cute nurses? No. There was a sweaty dude who was head of radiost...radiolog...the place where they do the scans. He was accompanied by other sweaty dudes (which was strange since that room was air conditioned). Which leads to the question: were there ever any hot nurses? Or are they a collective figment of the social imagination generated from a misplaced ideal within the mass communication machine (like unicorns...)? If they truly do exist, where are they now? Are they a dying breed? Has anybody informed the WWF (the World Wildlife Fund...I think. But definitely not the wrestling group)? This situation must be remedied! I DEMAND to have hot nurses take care of me when I'm sick (the ones that they have now just lessen the will to live)! Doctors and future doctors of the world, listen to my plea! Give us hot nurses! Thank you.... I'll just go back to being sick now. Peace, brudda (hey, it sounded appropriate at the time).