the clog

The meaning of Being Alone...(a post that is gonna make Rumoku very unpopular with the ladeees)

So there I was, bopping around the internet as usual and I come across this blog: Gongjapas...or something to that effect. You can find a link to the site if you go through Daisyboo's blog. Anyhoo, I was just perusing her (Gongjapas') blog when I came across a post about her cousin. Her cousin is a dashing fella who's out there lookin' fer love from a good wommon (we have to be PC once in a while). And he's rich to boot. So far he's only been dating models and such (oh, boo hoo) and has yet to find a woman who fits into his mold of an ideal woman. You know how it is, every man has a list somewhere in their head about how his woman should be (for the wimmen reading this blog, ask your boyfriend if he keeps a list about what he wants in a woman. For the guys...well, you know what I'm talking about). Anyway, not to digress to far: this cousin wants his woman to be educated but not too smart, demure, beautiful, gets along with the family ...etc...etc ...etc. And the thing that riles me up is simply this: He will probably find her.

I mean, how could he not? He's already going out with models for pete's sake! Models! This seems to be the type of guy that women throw themselves at. It made me take a good hard look at myself and wonder what have I to offer. So far, I've come up with this list:

Paranoid
Interesting, but only if you can understand what I'm talking about
Very different from most Malaysians
A love for books and video games

And not much else.
Do I have bling-blings that I can throw about at whim? Negative.
Have looks that make wimmen go wild? Nope.
An intellect that would satisfy and feed their soul? What kinda question was that? Urm, the answer would be maybe? I guess. I hope.

Anyway, yeah, I seem to be made to be a loner. I could be alone forever! The cousin still hasn't found his ideal girl so what are the chances that I'll find mine? I might as well go and throw in the towel right now.... Yes, this post pretty much sounds like a desperate cry for help. Or a fervent wish for companionship. Or a subtle way to ask for porn. But I assure you, that was not the reason for my writing this post. The true purpose of this post is just to ask a simple question:

When do you know that you've found The One (not Keanu Reeves from the Matrix, but the soulmate type of "The One")? I mean, I wonder everyday if I had just passed her on the street without knowing her, or that I've accidently run over her cat, or that I accidently took nude photos of her without ever realizing that she was The One for me. Shouldn't there be some sort of rulebook geared to finding your soulmate? And don't give me the "you'll know when you'll know" type of answer. It's just irresponsible! I know that many people have never found The One, but it just boggles my mind at the sheer randomness of it all. What if the person you're supposed to fall in love with suddenly dies because an X-Box fell on her head? Would you note her passing? Would you ever feel that you're missing something in your life? What if you find another person but feel like she's not quite right? WHat if the person you're with is not who you're meant to be with? Does this only bother me? Man, I could write a book using all this latent paranoia. I don't expect an answer to any of the questions that I have put forth. I've resigned myself to the possibility of never finding The One.... Eh, mebbe I just need to get laid.