the clog

"And this was the unkindest cut of all...." - Julius Caesar, Act 3 (I think) or Rumoku, betrayed...

Woo hoo! Hello again, kiddies. Today I am gonna talk about betrayal. Don't worry, I'm not angry about it. In fact, I think that it's the funniest thing that's happened to me all week. It all begins innocently enough: I'm talking to Chicken over on yahoo and I tell him that I'm looking for mp3 players (for my brother. Yeah, he gets all the good booty (as in treasure, not buns (...as in buttocks, not bread))). Anyway, Chicken innocently asks who am I buying it for. Feeling cheeky, I reply that it was for my girlfriend. For those of you who don't know me very well, I am almost a confirmed bachelor. Heck, I'm borderline Pope-type bachelor. If you need it any clearer: I'm the type that won't be getting a girlfriend any time soon. Chicken does not even bat an eye at my comment and we keep on with our conversation until I had to leave. I did not bother mentioning that I was just kidding about the girlfriend quip. The next day I'm online again as usual. Chicken then casually asks me:

"So what's your girlfriend's name?"
"What girlfriend?"
"The one you're buying the mp3 player for"
Shock!
"Come again?"
"The one you're buying the mp3 player for..."Chicken replies

Hooo boy. What had I done? I had deceived poor, innocent Chicken! I apologized profusely to Chicken and explained the truth behind the situation. Chicken didn't believe me. More explainations ensued and finally Chicken says:

"But I already told everybody that you finally got a girlfriend!"

Eeeep. We talk some more and shortly after that Teddy and Jeeves hop into yahoo and began berating me for not telling them the news personally. The gig, however, was up when Teddy started talking about ogling my imaginary girlfriend's boobs. Surely even Teddy wouldn't be so uncouth? Not long after that Chicken's conscience finally kicks in and he admits that they were yanking my chain. They were all in on it: Teddy, Chicken and Jeeves. How mean. And to think that I was actually contemplating getting a girlfriend so that they would finally have something to gossip about...

So you see, dear readers, the moral of the story is: Don't trust anyone! They're all out to make you look like a fool! Yes, it was a funny thing to happen but I'm going to go into the proverbial corner and sulk. On the bright side I can use this excuse to never actively look for female companionship. "I'm too emotionally scarred!" I could say. And many years down the road when I'm finally caught molesting high school girls (man, does that bring back memories) I can claim it's because of this one event....

Mwahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahaha.