the clog

...And I thought my posts were depressing...WARNING, this post is a little disturbing...

Okay, I know that I said I wouldn't post anything until I finished my training...but the mountains are kinda far off and my mommy wouldn't let me go without a chaperone. So sue me. Anyway, this one is a short post, so it doesn't really count. Much in the same way as cheating on your girlfriend while visiting a different country doesn't count as cheating (something to do with the time zones I think. It's way beyond my capacity for reasoning so don't bother asking me how it all works out). Or how that last chocolate you ate doesn't count towards your diet since it was filled with rum, which kinda negates all the fat in the chocolate since you burn off all the calories thanks to the alchohol (and just as an afterthought: aren't rum chocolates the nastiest thing in the world? I mean, who would ruin perfectly good chocolate by filling them up with rum anyway? It's dispicable! Imagine all the drunk toddlers around the world who didn't know any better. And that stuff burns going down! Nasty. I accidentally ate one. It looked normal enough at the time. Felt quite sick after that). Anyway, where was I? Right, I was giving excuses. Hrm. Anyhoo, I would just like to point out that although my posts have been on the depressing side of things for a while now, some people actually put real bitterness into their posts. I'm talking about my buddy Maeve's post. When I first read it (a coupla' weeks back) I thought "Oh hey, it's a poem. Not too into poetry, might read it later". Well, several weeks later I finally got around to read it. Whoa. Uber-depressing, Mister-man. I might even ask her about it later but I'm afraid that she might make me depressed with her reasoning. Anyway, I too have a poem that I wish to share:

Eat not the McFish special at Mickey D's, dear Friends.
The condiments and colouring give you diarrhea,
Diarrhea that would put the Niagara Falls to shame and your social life to an end,
As well as make your stool bluer than the seas near Langkawi.
So eat not the McFish special at Mickey D's,
Instead, eat toast.

Okay, it's no Shakespearean sonnet but at least it's 100% true. My God, I'm never eating at McDonald's again. I tried the McFish Special (there's a promotion going on right now where they serve you a double McFish with some sort of unhealthy lookin' blue drink, fries and a blue Mcflurry (which is in no way better than the oreo McFlurry that I love best)). Anyway, not two hours after that meal I was stuck on the crapper giving the sewage system my money's worth. And before I flushed I had a peek at my stool. It was blue! Not bright blue (not Smurf blue either)...a sorta murky blue. I was shocked. And that is why I'm swearing off McDonald's for at least the next coupla' months. 'Cept for maybe the Oreo McFlurry. That's probably okay (nothing that tastes that good could be bad for you regardless of what health experts tell you). So heed my warning, friends. I suffer for the sake of others. Oh, and to all those people who were eating or were planning to eat after reading this post, I humbly apologize. But some things need to be said. Well, time to sleep now. Class at 11am tmmr.