the clog

A tale of two boobies

Okay, I know I haven't written here in a long time because, y'know, I've quit. I vowed never to write another one of thse things. Ever!

I guess the truth is that the very same thing that motivated me to start these posts was the very same thing that did it in. That's just fancy speak for "I got bored".

Anyway, since my last post, people I know have gotten married, pregnant, ugly and generally gotten on in life. Even I finally found someone to love. Yes, I have gotten meself a girlfriend. Huzzah!

Anyway, one of the sore points in our relationship is this very blog. Why? She's never been featured in it, that's why. So to make amends and such, I am writing this one off post about my beautiful girlfriend...and her boobies (to keep up with tradition and such).

*Ahem* My girlfriend's boobies are amazing. They are not world conquering boobies, nor do they defy gravity (or have their own gravity, for that matter). They are, in fact, unspectacular if you compare them to, say, Pamela Anderson's boobies. In all fairness, everyone's boobies look unspectacular once compared to the walking unnatural plastic factory.

So why are my girlfriend's boobies spectacular? Well, for one, they are balanced. One of my greatest fears ever was that my future girlfriend's boobies (GFB) would be unbalanced, with nipples pointing to the stars in an angry salute. But my fears were assuaged. They have good suspension, bounce subtly when she walks, and are a good distraction when I do not want to concentrate on anything else in particular (she thinks I am gazing adoringly into her eyes. Ha! If only she knew!). In short, they are perfect in my eyes.

ANd so, in writing this post I have fulfilled a dual role:
1 I have once again upheld tradition by writing about boobies
2 I have finally written about my girlfriend so she can't complain about never featuring in this blog. Plus, it was about boobies. It's a win win situation!

So, what have we learned from the experience? One, never let your girlfriend find out about your blog if you have one. And two, if she does somehow find out, implant as many entries about her as possible. As many as possible!

Heed the wise words of Rumoku!

Rumoku out...possibly for the last time!

Addendum: Since the publication of this post, my girlfriend has gone and read it and has even provided some helpful comments on how to make it better. However, since making those corrections serves to nullify the lesson on how to please a girlfriend I have decided to add parts of our conversation here. Enjoy:

Her: i still think my boobies look more spectacular than pam anderson's
Her: heard that?
Her: MORE SPECTACULAR
me: hahahahaha
Her: because im natural and she never was
me: I thought I touched on that?
Her: how can you think im not as spectacular as pam anderson
me: I meant that they are not as ginormous
me: hence, spectacular...like a show or something
Her: yeah ginormous equals spectacular
Her: but i like it whatever it is
me: this is sooooo going into the blog

And there you have it. There's no pleasing booby connoisseurs. *Sigh*