the clog

Return of the Prodigal Idiot

Hurrah! In the words of Douglas McArthur: "I have returned!". Or was that "I shall return"? Meh, whatever. Anyway, after a long bout of procrastination I have finally decided to write something. Not that anyone would notice. I mean, how many of you people still read this stuff? Are you clinically insane? This stuff rots your brain, you know? Eh, whatever. I'm not here to judge you.... It's your brain.

Anyhoo, in the time that I was away I was busy stuffing my face and lying about doing nothing. A gritty job, but someone has to do it. I fully knew the detrimental effects of my sloth and greed when the local authorities got wind of my activities:

Polizei: Excuse me, sir. We have reports that you've been harbouring an unregistered sub-continent on your premises.
Dad: He's in the den.
Polizei: Ach, mein Gott! It's hideous!
Rumoku: Hey, that's my brother you're commenting on there. He can't help being ugly...
Polizei: Ah, the sub-continent.... Did you know that you are in breach of Article 2, Section 5 of the Geneva convention that strictly forbids sovereign landmasses to be without a constitution?
Rumoku: I'm planning to secede from Malaysia on tuesday as soon as I hit my target weight...
Polizei: But you already harbour illegal immigrants in your navel!
Rumoku: Now how did they get there?
Polizei: I'm afraid that we have to perform emergency liposuction on you. You're too irresponsible and intellectually inept to be a land mass...
Rumoku: Hey, where are you sticking tha...aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Polizei: Haha, now we can use this extra fat to feed the poor impoverished cantons of Switzerland!

And that's what happened to me. I'm currently in the process of trying to regain my lost weight...after all, I have to keep those illegal immigrants somewhere.


---Rumoku: The Lost Continent---